Come all ye faithful to the last match report of 2025. After a silent night of sleep, Saturday saw the 3s head to the east coast for a lovely warm day on the wide, sandy beaches of Mablethorpe. Ice cream, a paddle, steaming hot chips soaked in vinegar and the sight of Gary rubbing factor 20 where the sun, in order to protect its mental health, sense of self-worth and sanity, very wisely refuses to shine.

Then I woke up and we headed to Louth instead.

Louth, which in times of heavy rain is basically situated on Doggerland, looked to be another difficult challenge for the team.

Travelling with 12, but with the starting 11 having strong motivation not to come off for fear of the jeers and retribution of their teammates, the recent plan of letting the opposition have the ball in front, but leave no spaces behind meant that I could simply have reprised last week’s report for the first half. But that would be lazy, like turning up to play but never once offering to rest a fellow besticked Green (in this case White) Warrior. Unconscionable. Who could do such a thing?

Anyhoo, the opposition again looked quick, motivated, organised and determined.

Whether Louth had scouted us, or adapted quickly, I do not know, but our outlets from last week were quickly identified and swamped. Dan M and Robbie always seeming to receive the ball with three physical players crowding them out. As per last week, though we worked hard, fought and snatched an opening goal from a well worked short corner, intricate passing between Macca (D) and Will, slip left to Robbie to power drag to the far bottom corner. Or something like that. I didn’t really see it as I was trying to figure out who had superglued my arse to the bench.

Chesterfield hung on to the lead for a while before an equalising goal for Louth, too much space offered to the scorer lurking around the P spot. I believe he was the first Noel we have played against this season.

This looked like it may open the floodgates. This team though, is not with heart itself. The skipper leads by example in the effort stakes, Dave Mac is a calming, organising and wise influence at the back and Robbie is learning quickly about the kids and how to get the best out of them. More of that later.

The two teams took their 15th final warning for appealing for decisions shortly before Robbie felt he deserved a flick for being physically assaulted by the last defender in the D, and their 16th warning very shortly afterwards.

But still, 1-1 heading toward half time was a very respectable effort. Louth were always a risk up front though and two goals in the closing minutes of the half, again coming from lax marking giving the forwards all the time they needed to strike past Ali, who was having a blinder in goal, but not having his pads swept as well as required. A certain Mr C. Hooper would have been very much more vocal about this, if his legs worked.

So 3-1 at half time, and time for some out of the red headed box thinking. Deciding that 50 years of hockey would go out of the window, Robbie moved to right mid, then right back, putting Dan up front and giving more freedom to Ellis Edwards at left midfield.

This was transformative. Louth could no longer camp in our half as the pace and skill of the lads put them on the back foot regularly. With Paul and Gary trying their best to support the marauders, who might have occasionally looked back, but such is the confidence and ambition of youth (‘Gotta find me a future, move out of my way’).

Ellis scored a lovely goal, he is so quick, he ran through and slotted home so speedily, shouts of ‘Upgrade, upgrade!’ from the back hadn’t yet caught up with him as the ball hit the backboard.

3-2, game on, Louth scared, Chesterfield roaring.

A series of very audible stick tackles and visible defensive feet went unnoticed in the Louth D, causing the 48th admonition for appealing, and some young forwards to use words their parents did not know they knew.

Robbie went down injured after taking a light waft to the knee, but was soon hauled to his feet by all 10 of his team as they had noticed the acetone had done its work and the sub was springing (in the loosest sense possible) to his feet.

Panicked cries of ‘He’s fine, he’s fine’, and ‘Get up you ginger sod, get up’ and ‘Sub, God rest ye, merry gentleman’, soon had a hobbling Robbie back on his foot. Gary ran past the bench looking pooped, the sub asked him if he wanted a rest. Immediately noises that sounded like a confluence of ‘Meep meep’ and ‘Andele, arriba!’ were audible and a trail of steam followed him for the rest of the game.

Late pressure gave Dan and Gary chances to equalise, but the keeper and the vast expanse of pitch that wasn’t the goal saw these off. Ali made a great diving save, late on, celebrating with Noah and Dan like wee three kings.

The umpires continued to fail to notice Louth indiscretions as they booted their way to our D to score a late and undeserved 4th goal. Player of the match for me was long serving player, one club man, Mac. Louth will now be known for once in Loyal David’s city.

Overall a really entertaining and encouraging game against a very physical side who were keen to let the kids know about it. How the lad with the elbows didn’t get carded, I’ll never know. The side is getting stronger and stronger.

Post match entertainment included observing kids not knowing what to do with a baked potato. How the wheel turns.

Bans were issued to several of the side not to visit Cheesy’s shop over the break, so it certainly will be a bleak midwinter for those of us who like to curtail their Walpole-ing activities, sally forth and infiltrate his place of purveyance.

See you on the far side folks, do your best to bring joy to the world.

Match Report by John McCollum
#evergreen